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[devilfrancis]

Im 17 this year and i have been bothered by some issues over the five precepts. Basically,i took my five precepts when i was young and it is mandatory to adhere to the precepts. However,i broke one of the precept in which by carrying out sexual misconduct with 3 parties(no sex). I learnt them through internet and at that point of time i was naive and curious over sexual behaviour,but it finally dawned on me that i was simply ignorance and foolish to be brought away by these conduct. I am sincerely remorseful,(thought sometimes i get carried away by sexual adrenaline),and couldn't help myself but to feel totally despondent. I really want to change for the better but i simply do not know what to do. What can I do to replant the good seeds and can i be forgiven? I really have no idea. My major examination is only a few days away but i cannot fully concentrate on my studies. I kept pondering about the bad karma effects and totally lost focus in everything. Can anyone please guild me and path a way for me to enlightenment? Thank you.

[johnsen]

Dear devilfrancis,

It is natural for you to feel this way. However, you can do something even more positive than wallowing in regret. An important part of acknowledging your wrongdoing is to sincerely repent and make an effort not to commit the same mistakes/wrongdoing in future.

Kamma is not a simple equation of 1 + 1 = 2. The workings of kamma are too complicated for me to explain it here in a few sentences.

But here is an excerpt from the Buddha's teachings for you to ponder upon (extracted from here):
"Now suppose a man throws a lump of salt into a small cup of water. What do you think, monks: would that small quantity of water in the cup become salty and undrinkable through that lump of salt?" — "It would, Lord." — "And why so?" — "The water in the cup is so little that a lump of salt can make it salty and undrinkable." — "But suppose, monks, that lump of salt is thrown into the river Ganges. Would it make the river Ganges salty and undrinkable?" — "Certainly not, Lord." — "And why not?" — "Great, Lord, is the mass of water in the Ganges. It will not become salty and undrinkable by a lump of salt."

*Salt refers to Kamma

It does not do one any good to keep pondering upon past wrongdoings. It is unproductive and does not help you to heal. Focus on doing more good deeds instead such as meditation, chanting, volunteer work etc, you will begin to feel less guilty.

I truly believe that you have other good qualities. Look at them instead of focusing on your moment of wrongdoing. Sometimes, we tend to concentrate too much on our bad qualities and feel depressed because of them. However, being aware of our bad qualities give us the motivation to strive for improvements. One who is unaware of one's bad qualities does not see the need to improve oneself.

I hope that with my limited experience and knowledge of Buddhism, I have managed to help reduce your suffering. May you always have happiness and be free from suffering. May you achieve your desired results for your examinations.

[chuancheng]

thanks to johnsen, well said.
Here is something you can try. Manage to have five minute quiet time every day, better first thing in the morning, sit down and relax with your eyes closed, and then wish all sentient beings be free from suffering and be joyful. If you need it to be substantial, then classify 'all sentient beings' by size, colour, weight, closeness of your relationship, etc, but in the end you must not forget to wish them all be free of suffering and happy.

wish you well and happy, always!